As I approach the age of forty-five, I find myself contemplating the changes in my appearance as a freshly single woman with a face that hit an expiration date sometime ago. To be completely honest, it feels as if my face looks like a candle that has been left in the sun for too long. But I am good with it, as hard as it is to be sometimes. In our society, there seems to be no space for embracing the natural process of growing older. Instead, aging is often met with shame and a pressure to resort to cosmetic procedures. I refuse to see my aging face as a problem that needs to be fixed or reversed. In fact, I believe my aging face is society’s problem to deal with, not mine.
Aging, Shame and Aesthetic Gymnastics
In our culture, we no longer venerate our elders as wise individuals who have lived rich and meaningful lives. Instead, we view the aging population as burdensome and something to be hidden away. We take “proactive” approaches like using creams and serums, injection botulism into our faces, going under UV light therapy and other acrobatics to preserve a few years of youth in our skin. We are starting these regimens sometimes as early as our twenties. When one stops to consider the actual function of our skin – the largest organ in the body, protecting, holding, containing in its folds every other organ, bone, ligament, drop of blood. Our skin is amazing at holding these meat suits in place. Why does it also need to look youthful?
It is disheartening to witness the lack of respect and honor given to our aging process. We hide those among us who have accumulated wisdom and experience throughout their years. We have become obsessed with youth and beauty, neglecting to acknowledge the value that comes with age. Flawless skin and a youthful appearance are idolized. We scrutinize our own faces, desperately trying to preserve the smoothness of our skin and erase any signs of aging. But why do we expect our skin not to wrinkle when it is simply a natural part of the aging process? It is time to challenge the insane expectation that we should remain forever young.
Rejecting the Pressure
Don’t get me wrong, I understand the temptation to succumb to societal pressure. I, too, have examined my laugh lines and wished for a prolongation of my youth. I have tugged and smoothed my lines in front of the mirror. I know I will again. I refuse, however, to let anti-aging programming dictate my self-worth. I will not bear the burden of spending thousands of dollars on fillers or treatments to conform to society’s unrealistic beauty standards. Instead, I choose to embrace the unique characteristics that come with age. I have crooked laugh lines and a resting smirk. My face will call you on your bullshit before you have a chance to open your mouth. But where others may see age, I believe these features tell a story of a life well-lived. They convey resilience, wisdom, and authenticity. I find beauty in the way my face reflects the emotions I have experienced throughout my journey.
Respect for Individual Choices
While I make a conscious decision to let my face age naturally, I respect that everyone has the right to make their own choices. There are no right or wrong ways to handle the process of aging, I firmly believe every person deserves to feel beautiful in their bodies. However, I believe the only way I can personally honor my body is to let it age however it was built to. If I were to get injections, it would be motivated solely from the hope that I appear younger to the rest of the world. That I can still prove my worth to stand here. And that is not good enough for me.
Let’s Shift It
Our society needs to evolve in its perspective on aging. We must go back to revering our elders, appreciating the knowledge and wisdom they possess. We need to relearn how to celebrate the natural process of growing older, rather than trying to hide or alter it. My aging face is not a problem to be dealt with or fixed. My melting skin is a testament to the life I have lived. I choose to embrace the beauty that comes with age, refusing to let societal expectations define my worth. It’s time to redefine aging gracefully and appreciate the stories our faces tell.
