Dialectical Behavioral Therapy (DBT) taught me the very important skill of introducing “and” when I am experiencing a lot of big emotions that feel opposing.
In the “and” space, you can be angry and also love someone. You can be at peace and also hurt. You can be hopeful and planning for the worst. You can unconditionally love someone, and still refuse to accept behavior that is unhelpful or outright hurtful.
Making this a part of my practice in recovery from PMDD (Premenstrual Dysphoric Disorder) gave me grace for myself in a way I never had before. I stopped expecting myself to be “all in” on any one emotion.
Humans are complex creatures, with many different layers. Why would we expect to feel just one emotion, and deny the existence of others, even when contradictory?
I hope you can give yourself grace today, feeling whatever you need to.